I fret, i worry and wonder about so much in my life.It’s 10:23pm and i’m now worried about how much i worry. Shake you down by Gregory Abbott is playing and i’m not sure i’m actively listening. The volume is at 14 which is really low it now sounds like background music.Writing this makes me feel like my headache is slowly going away as i continue. It’s kind of like going to the hospital and va va voom you’re suddenly in good spirits when you step into the room and are welcomed by crying babies, long queues and medicine. For some reason writing does the same thing to me lakini we shall get back to that hospital thing a little later.
“Our fatigue is often caused not by work,
but by worry, frustration and resentment.”
– Dale Carnegie
I almost wrote, ironically(Is this even right? The number of people who casually use this in conversations is alarming, grammar Nazi’s you have homework) but i’ll use the word hmmm let’s see…*inserts thinking face*
Scratch that let’s write another paragraph,
Brain wanders off to New Zealand…
Looking back over my shoulder starts and my performance begins( i actually turn when i sing this song )
I’m now back for good, so earlier today we realised that or were reminded that worry adds no value to well that which is concerning you so much at the moment. I say this cause i’m a victim of unecessary headaches cause of worrying a little too much. I learnt about a few things today i found important to share.
1.The Circle Of Concern(CoC)
This was illustrated by drawing two circles, one inside the other. The smaller circle is the circle of influence which i’ll describe below a little later and the bigger circle is the circle of concern.The CoI includes things that are beyond our control,factors that are external in nature like natural disasters and whose disposition we cannot dictate.It’s recommended that you draw the two circles and write a list of things that are included. I’ll kick start your list with the weather. Some people are chronic worriers about what weather pattern will reign all day. This is understandable as it does dictate how warmly dressed you’ll be or if you’ll leave that umbrella at home. Regardless of whether someone says, ” Na hii jua ya leo ni ya mvua” it doesn’t hurt to be prepared but the time spent thinking about the weather pattern is the problem therein. Other examples include news, government budgets and traffic.Plan but worry less about things you can not change.
2.The Circle of Influence(CoI)
This here is your smaller circle as illustrated on your right.Items included in this list include things that you have a higher degree of control over. Ideally, they are things you can somehow have an impact over in the short term. They include the actions you take such as a careless remark that you may excuse with “I just said it and didn’t realise it would hurt you.”You prioritising reading time for soccer is a decision completely influenced by you. If you plan better annd set these priorities right you definately stand a higher chance at less worrying in future as you set the ball rolling at high speed.In addition, the choice of deciding how much time to spend on personal development and fun can fall into this list.This involves planning but it links to worry if not well set out. Anyway, we can talk about time and all that in another blog as it’s already flying.
3. The Relationship Between the CoI and the CoC.
As seen above, the focus we give to the CoI is a function of the time and investment we make towards the factor that’s worrying us. I pick exercising as something i have influence over. We tend to slack with habits yes?And one such thing that’s important is our personal health that apart from a good diet is boosted by exercise.A proactive focus involves doing things such as getting a gym/ walking/running buddy or setting the alarm to be up at a particular time. In this way you spend more time on personal growth in terms of your physical health which betters you in a wholesome way. Look at the first concentric circles again. Notice that an increasing CoI leads to a smaller CoC and that being the case means you worry less about matters like the weather that are entirely beyond you.You’re actively preoccupied on fitness such that these other matters bother you less which is a worthy investment of your time.
The second diagram is a picture of a slacker on things they can influence and one who spends alot of time on say observing weather patterns and nagging all day about trafic. Have you ever heard someone consistetly talk about how they had a long day in traffic and it’s entirely messed their whole day. They spend alot of time on matters that the cannot control and achieve nothing.The reactive energy increases the CoC and doesn’t lead to any progress, it’s basically arrested development.
So before you go on a worry binge, is it something you can do something about or not? Can you really influence anything about the matter and if you can is it furthering your development or are you simply wasting time?
Always a pleasure,